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Lotusbirth Sifra

Sweet Sifra,

Your birth story begins on Saturday the 22nd of April 2017. At 00h40 I received a call from your mom telling me that her water broke. I was only asleep for one hour, so my first reaction was “Oh my God...,NOW? ”. She assured me that everything was ok and I didn’t have to hurry because her contractions were not that strong.

Sleeping was out of the question, so I prepared and took the car to Bruges. Arrived at your parents home, I noticed your mom was very happy and joyful. It would take a while so I took the chance to rest a little. Your omi (grandmother) was there to keep your mother company and I didn’t want to intrude. My gut-feeling told me it was going to be a long day.

Around 5 o’clock in the morning, I came down the stairs and witnessed the same scenario: no strong labor and an enthusiastic mom because the big moment had finally arrived ! You were more than welcome now that you were almost 40 weeks inside her belly.

It was 5h30 when we went to the Serruys hospital in Ostend for a checkup. Mom had 1cm dilatation and slight contractions when my colleague doula Tine joined us. After breakfast at around 8 o’clock, your mother wanted to take a walk to the beach, hoping that this would make the contractions stronger. At the beach, your mom - wearing slippers - asked us “if it was ok for us to walk in the deep sand”. We all laughed loudly! Roles were reversed: the women in labor is worried about us? The healthy sea breeze and walking made the contractions a little stronger, but still tolerable.

Back at the hospital your mom was dancing away the contractions while she was keeping your grandmother and aunts in Indonesia up to date. She was checked again...3cm! Okay! We’re going in the good direction! Time to rest and catch some sleep (for what it's worth). While your mom was taking a nap in the room, I slept a little on the couch in the delivery room where the birthbath was. After an hour I woke up and was relieved my pants were still dry despite the water sounds in the room :-D !

Your mom was still asleep so I took the chance to go to the lunch room and grab a bite to eat. Your father was here too, so we had lunch together and talked a little about this important day.

Back in the room, your mom was still stuck at 3cm. Time to go for a walk again! We took the stairs to the lunch room where your grandfather treated your mother a little pie. Your mom enjoyed her cake very much. "The last one before Sifra is here," she said with sparkling eyes.

Unlike this morning, the weather was beautiful. Your mom and dad enjoyed the sun and there was even time for ice cream. Why not? I got one too myself. It was a fun and special moment.

On the way back to the hospital, I noticed your mom was getting more tired. She was still at 3cm... I sensed something was not quite right. As a doula I got to know your mom for many months before the day of delivery and at that moment, I knew there was something more to it then just a slow labor. When labor shuts down at a certain point, there is mostly a non-medical explanation for it. Together with the midwife and your father, I had a deep conversation with your mom. She looked me right in the eyes and listened the entire time. I saw tears coming up when I mentioned certain things. A lot of emotions that were deep inside were freed. A lot of thoughts she didn’t want to think about at first came up. Thoughts that blocked her mentally... and physically.

After the conversation the midwive of the hospital proposed a very slight and local stimulation. I advised your mom to take a shower and prepare for the real work that was going to start now. When she came out of the shower, I saw a totally different Reena. No sparkling eyes, no big smile, no giggling. My words touched her. We gave her some space to call her mother who was on the other side of the world. Through the door, we heard some deep emotions. Everything that she was holding back, now bursted. Your mother was going through a real transformation! You must have felt it inside the womb. After the phonecall, the medication was placed and not even 30 minutes later, she got contractions that were far more stronger than before.

Together with doula Tine we supported your mom as good as we could. We also encouraged your father to help in the process so he would be involved in your birth.

Around 21h30, your mom had contractions every minute. It was heavy and intense. THIS is what she needed to dilate! The warm shower in the delivery room helped her to relieve pain. We helped your mom and encouraged her. She was doing sooo good!

At a certain moment she couldn’t do it anymore, she was done and asked for an epidural. She looked at me desperately and said that she couldn’t endure more pain anymore. But your mom and I made an agreement during our prenatal consultations. As a midwife she witnessed over 2000 births and she knew that every woman gets to a point where they want to stop the pain. She assured me that she would also ask for an epidural and I needed to remind and encourage her when she asked for it. So at that moment I was with her in the shower and I smiled at her. I said: “Do you remember?